The Mommy Shorts Guide to Remarkably Average Parenting by Ilana Wiles

Author:Ilana Wiles [Wiles, Ilana]
Language: eng
Format: epub, azw3
Publisher: Harry N. Abrams
Published: 2016-09-26T22:00:00+00:00

WHEN YOU REALIZE YOU GAVE BIRTH TO SPIDERGIRL.

WHEN LIFE AS YOU KNOW IT IS OVER.

CHAPTER 11 She Speaks!

Communication is the key to everything and it starts the second your baby exits the womb. “Hi! I’m here! Let me make my presence super clear with an ear-piercing cry!”

They say each cry sounds different and if you pay attention you can decipher which cry means what. There’s even a crying analyzer that tells you whether your baby is stressed, annoyed, bored, sleepy, or hungry. I think that’s total crap because, in my experience, there are not five reasons a baby cries, there are about 864. Like the cry that says she wants you to pick her up without touching her. Or the cry that means she has developed an overnight aversion to her left shoe.

And what am I supposed to do if my baby is “stressed”? Tell her to work it out in a kickboxing class? What about “annoyed”? Tell my mother to stop calling her? I don’t think these options are nearly specific enough.

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